Bismillah
I want to start for myself. I'm not sure how.
Today I am home. Technically, I don't have anything I have to do at work today, and ever since this UT infection I've had, I have really not felt like myself. So, I've stayed home. I've spent much of the day trying to promote the new Academy we are starting, but it's dull work. I've been researching different free ways of promoting the Academy and trying to find new teachers, but it's not easy and so far I'm not seeing much in terms of results.
I feel as though I am failing my children. I can't get a grip. I don't know how to manage. I'm trying to pull myself and my kids up by my bootstraps, and I'm not sure how.
Today a package from my mom arrived. Of course my husband went through it first, which I thought was a touch rude, but then again, politeness is not really a part of this society, unfortunately. I'm getting used to it, after nearly 20 years, but it still rubs me raw.
In the package were a bunch of homeschooling CDs I had ordered. Somehow, they seem disappointing. I'm always disappointed by everything, shocking as it is to admit it. Nothing is ever quite wonderful enough, big enough, amazing enough, enough of enough. It's always too little.
I feel malaise, ennui. What a whiner I am.
Anyway, the Harry Potter series arrived too, which is sort of fun. But it's all hollow.
Tomorrow I teach, and I almost don't want to. It's like I don't care anymore.